💄Lipstick (chapter 9)

Megamind/Roxanne, M rating, pre-movie AU

Roxanne slips away from the mayor’s birthday gala to search for a piece of evidence that will break the story of governmental corruption in Metro City wide open. Unbeknownst to Roxanne, however, Megamind is at the party, too. And the city’s supervillain wants the same thing as the city’s nosiest reporter…

AO3 | FFN

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 |

chapter 6 | chapter 7 | chapter 8

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Megamind, finished with his tie, burst into laughter.

“Very thoroughly, yes,” he said. “Extremely thoroughly!”

“And try to get rid of fingerprints,” Roxanne said, slipping her underwear back on.

“Fingerprints?” he said, looking pointedly at the desk. “You’re worrying about fingerprints?”

He raised an eyebrow at her and Roxanne flushed but fixed him with the most dignified look she could manage.

“And—any other—physical evidence,” she said. “Stop laughing! This is all your fault, you know; I wasn’t actually planning on taking off my gloves, let alone—”

“—how about I call the brainbots,” Megamind said, still snickering, “and have them—discreetly!—come and do a surveillance search and evidence purge of the whole room? They’re very thorough.”

“Good,” Roxanne said fervently. “And let’s definitely lock the door while we wait, yeah?”

Megamind went still, eyes widening. He crossed the room swiftly and turned the lock of the door.

“That—” he said, “—that could have been unbelievably disastrous.”

“I should have locked it behind myself when I came in here in the first place,” Roxanne said, making a face at her own stupidity.

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, Miss Ritchi,” Megamind said, his voice dropping to that really unfairly sexy purr of his as he crossed the room to her. “You have great criminal potential. You just need a little more practice. I’m sure I can teach you.”

He bit his lip and smirked at her and Roxanne didn’t know whether she was more flattered or turned on.

“And just what,” she licked her lips, “makes you think that I need lessons from you, Megamind?”

“Doubting my criminal credentials, Miss Ritchi?” Megamind murmured, leaning forward.

“You didn’t even remember to wear gloves,” Roxanne said a little breathlessly, tilting her head towards his. “I remembered to wear gloves.”

“I didn’t need to wear gloves,” Megamind said, drawing his fingertips up her arms, making her shiver. “You listened to the recording didn’t you? I’ve been in this office recently; the mayor would expect my fingerprints.”

“You didn’t remember to lock the door behind yourself, either,” Roxanne said, her breathing picking up as Megamind drew a single fingertip over the line of her clavicle.

He frowned, hand going still.

“—you’re right, I didn’t,” he said. “Which was really very stupid of—”

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, Megamind,” Roxanne said, her tone sugar-sweet and her smile sharp-edged. “You just need a little more practice. I’m sure I can teach you.”

This close, it was impossible to miss his reaction—the flash of heat in his eyes, the way his gaze dropped to her mouth.

(oh—oh he’d been telling the truth about that, too, then; he really did think it was attractive when she—)

Megamind kissed her and Roxanne made a sound of exultant relief as she kissed him back.

He really didn’t mind! He really found it attractive!

“—you picked the lock,” Megamind said, breaking the kiss. “Didn’t you? It wasn’t just unlocked. You picked it.”

“Yeah, with a hairpin,” Roxanne said, then felt another rush of pride at the impressed look Megamind gave her.

Then he blinked.

“…I showed you how to do that,” he said slowly. “Did—did you already know how to do that when I showed you?”

“No,” Roxanne said. “Why do you think I got you to show me?”

“Did you trick me into that particular evil monologue?” he laughed. “I didn’t realize! Oh, I wish you’d told me you actually wanted to learn; I would have untied you and had you practice!”

Roxanne laughed.

“Well, I managed it on my own anyway,” she said.

“Yeah,” Megamind said, “but I’ll bet you look hot as fuck while you’re doing it.”

“You definitely do,” Roxanne blurted, without meaning to, then flushed as Megamind’s eyes went wide. She covered her embarrassment with a laugh. “Seriously, though, that’s all it would have taken? Me saying I wanted to learn?” She arched an eyebrow. “Kind of easy for a supervillain, aren’t you?”

“I—”

Megamind stopped, and then he blushed, actually blushed, which was ridiculously satisfying and also ridiculously attractive.

Then he gave her a smoldering look from beneath his lashes, his cheeks still pink—which was even more ridiculously attractive, god.

“My virtue is very easy when it comes to you and your less virtuous tendencies, Miss Ritchi,” he said.

Roxanne’s heart did a little flip.

“Oh?” she said, trying to keep her tone light and teasing. “Only when it comes to me?”

Megamind gave her a small, almost shy smile.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “only you.”

Roxanne’s heart flipped over again, the sensation of it making her feel strangely fluttery.

“You—you make it sound like I’m the one who fucked you on a desk,” she said, her voice a little unsure.

To her surprise, Megamind blushed even harder at that, a bright pink flush painting itself along his cheekbones and the tips of his ears.

“Really, though, Roxanne; that was okay?” he asked earnestly. “You did enjoy it? Because it was wonderful for me, and it seemed to me at the time like you were enjoying it, but research and guesswork isn’t the same as experience, so afterwards I wasn’t sure—”

“Yes, of course I—research and guesswork—?” Roxanne said as his words registered in her mind, “—research and—and—you—have you never had sex with—with a woman before?”

“…no,” Megamind said, sounding surprised at the question, oh god, what—

(what had he said before, when he asked her the first time if she’d enjoyed herself; he’d said he didn’t have a basis for comparison, but—)

“But—” Roxanne said, grasping at straws, “—but you’ve had sex with men before, right?”

“Er…no?” Megamind said, still sounding confused.

(no basis for comparison, he’d said, and he’d said lack of firsthand knowledge and—)

“You’ve never had sex with anyone before?” Roxanne asked incredulously. “That was your first time?”

“Yes?” Megamind said. “Did—did you really not know that?”

“No, I did not know that, Megamind; how in the hell would I know that!”

“I mean, I figured it was obvious—”

“It was not obvious!” Roxanne choked and covered her face with one hand. “It was very, very not obvious!”

“Are—are you okay?” Megamind asked.

“Yes, I’m just—” Roxanne waved her free hand, fighting shocked laughter, “—just—mentally recalibrating—”

(everything I’ve read, he’d said. everything I’ve read indicated that was an acceptable question, and she’d been too caught up in her own head to really register what he was saying—)

She looked up at him, and he looked back at her, his eyebrows drawn together slightly, his fingers twitching nervously.

“Okay, so you clearly have a lot of natural talent, then, Megamind,” Roxanne said, “because that was—really fantastic.”

“I—really? It was?”

“Yeah,” Roxanne said. “I—I didn’t know it could feel that good, actually,” she added, biting her lip. “It—I kind of always figured it was just—I’m so sorry for reacting like that when you asked me the first time; I thought—”

“That I was making fun of you,” Megamind said, tilting his head. “You said you thought I was laughing at you, but I still don’t understand why you would think that?”

Roxanne made a face.

“I mean, I—I was thinking that you—well, really, I thought you had a lot more experience than me, and that you were trying to—embarrass me for the way I’d been so, um. Desperate. For—for you. With the—the begging, and the—” Roxanne’s face went hot and she gestured, “—everything.”

Megamind nodded slowly, but he was still frowning. Roxanne sighed and rubbed a hand over her face.

“Okay so—honestly, it wasn’t really so much anything that you said at all; I was thinking about—” She glanced down at the floor and twisted the fingers of one hand in the material of her skirt. “I—I overheard—some people talking about—that tabloid article. About us. And. Me. About me. About how it obviously wasn’t true that we were having an affair because I’m not attractive enough or experienced enough or—or sexy enough for you—”

“Come the fuck again,” Megamind said, his voice low and dangerous.

Roxanne continued to look at the floor.

“I mean come on,” she quoted bitterly, “can you imagine? He’d be wanting to bring out the ropes and handcuffs, and she’d just be complaining the entire time! Nag, nag, nag; can you imagine anyone less fun?” Her lips twisted at the memory. “Don’t tell me that Roxanne Ritchi, miss vanilla-as-they-come, miss ‘I bought this same dress in three different colors’; don’t tell me you really think that she is having some kind of steamy affair with—”

Roxanne looked up at Megamind, gesturing at him—god, and it really did seem ridiculous, looking at him; he was so very—and she was just—

“Do these people lack eyes?” Megamind snarled. “Or just functional fucking brains?”

Roxanne blinked; he sounded—outraged and absolutely furious, and at that, some of the tightness in her chest eased.

“Because they clearly have no idea what they’re talking about,” Megamind said, looking as furious as he sounded. “Who, exactly, are these people?”

He narrowed his eyes, the lines of his face falling into his ‘I am developing an evil plot’ expression, and the knot in Roxanne’s chest loosened even more.

She let go of her skirt and straightened her spine.

“It doesn’t matter who they are,” she said. “They don’t matter; you’re right; fuck them; they don’t know what they’re talking about!”

“Is that why you were so upset about the dress thing?” Megamind asked. “What the hell could possibly be wrong with buying a dress that looks good on you in multiple colors?”

“Nothing,” Roxanne said, lifting her chin. “There is nothing wrong with it.”

“You look gorgeous in that dress!” Megamind said.

“I—you really think so?” Roxanne asked.

“Yes,” Megamind said forcefully. “Because you are gorgeous. You looked gorgeous and mysterious in the black dress, and you looked gorgeous and regal in the silver one, and you look gorgeous and—”

His gaze flicked down her body, then up, his eyes going half-lidded, a smile curling the edges of his lips, and Roxanne felt heat go through her at the clear appreciation in his expression. He met her eyes again.

“Dangerous,” he said, “you look gorgeous and dangerous in that dress.”

Roxanne’s breath caught.

“God, you make it seem like I’m some kind of femme fatale.”

“Please, Temptress,” Megamind murmured. “I’m not the one making you seem like anything.”

Roxanne opened her mouth to argue, but Megamind looked at her pointedly.

“Do, please, cast your mind back on the events of the night,” he said.

“I—”

“You broke into this office,” Megamind said, “you quite literally tore off my clothes; you evil monologued at that security guard…”

Roxanne blinked. Oh. That was—

Wow. Oh, wow; she never would have thought—

Her expression must have reflected her dawning realization, because Megamind laughed. Roxanne laughed, too, rather breathlessly.

She would never have thought she could be so—

“That was a very smooth evil monologue, by the way,” Megamind said, a wicked smile curling just the edges of his mouth. “Have you threatened someone with me before?”

Roxanne felt her face flush a little.

“No,” she said, “not actually—done it. But I have…fantasized about it a lot.”

Megamind’s smile went wider and more wicked.

“Have you, now,” he said.

Roxanne felt her face flush more, but she laughed, more pleased than embarrassed by his obvious pleasure at hearing this.

“Do—do I need to feel guilty for—for seducing you and making you lose your virginity on a desk?” she asked.

Megamind glanced at the desk in question, then raised his eyebrow at her.

“Making me?” he said with a scoffing sound. “What, like you had to fucking talk me into it?”

Roxanne laughed.

“Well, that’s fortunate,” she said. She reached up and traced a finger down the line of his facial hair, then attempted a sultry tone. “Because I really don’t feel guilty about it.”

Megamind’s eyes flicked down towards her mouth, his lips parting as he took a sharp breath.

Clearly the sultry tone had been more effective than she’d anticipated, Roxanne thought with a sudden rush of self-confidence. She straightened up to her full height, moved her hand beneath his chin, and kissed him.

And it was very much her kissing him this time, her leading and him responding to her—oh, now that was interesting—

Roxanne took hold of his hip with her free hand and turned the two of them so that he was the one pressed back against the desk, then caught both his wrists and pinned them to the desk top.

“—fuck,” Megamind gasped, breaking the kiss, his eyes wide and dark.

He didn’t try to break her grip, didn’t try to change their positions—oh, that was very interesting, yes.

(he’d be wanting to break out the ropes and handcuffs, and she’d just be—)

Roxanne kissed him again, and he made a soft, moaning kind of sound that went through her in a hot rush, made her feel wild and reckless and absolutely invincible.

(my beautiful, furious, indomitable Miss Ritchi)

She broke the kiss and bit lightly at the edge of his jaw, then let go of his wrists to undo the knot of his tie.

“Turn around,” she said, pulling the tie from around his neck. “And put your hands behind your back.”

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…to be continued .💋

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Day 25 of my Birthday Fic Month! I hope you all are still enjoying it; I definitely am!

Thank you to @klcthebookworm for bringing up the question of whether Roxanne has ever threatened anyone with Megamind before!