Megamind/Roxanne, M rating, pre-movie AU

Roxanne slips away from the mayor’s birthday gala to search for a piece of evidence that will break the story of governmental corruption in Metro City wide open. Unbeknownst to Roxanne, however, Megamind is at the party, too. And the city’s supervillain wants the same thing as the city’s nosiest reporter…

AO3 | FFN

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | 

chapter 6 | chapter 7

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Roxanne’s hand slipped from Megamind’s neck and he made a soft sound and pushed himself up from her, disentangling their bodies.

Rational thought filtered slowly back into Roxanne’s mind, and she realized—really realized, for the first time, that she was lying, half undressed, on a desk, her gown pushed up and her breasts spilling out of her bodice.

Lying there because—

—because she’d just had sex with Megamind.

She’d just had sex with Megamind.

Megamind. With Megamind. She’d had sex with Megamind.

She swallowed hard and pushed herself up enough to fix her bodice, managed to sit up all the way up on the second try, wincing slightly. Roxanne looked down as covered herself with her skirt again and bit her lip, feeling stupidly—shy and anxious, suddenly.

For a long moment, she couldn’t quite bring herself to look over at him.

oh come on, Roxanne; you can beg him to fuck you—oh god she had begged him, hadn’t she?—but you can’t even look at him now?

Finally, she managed to look over at him. He was on the desk, now, too, lying back on his elbows, head tilted back, eyes closed, still panting, his shirt slipping half off his shoulders oh god why did he have to look so gorgeous and so gorgeously debauched—

He glanced over at her, meeting her eyes, and Roxanne glanced away, looked at the material of her skirt again.

She’d never seen him look so—so relaxed. Not tired; she’d seen him look more tired than this, seen him stumbling with exhaustion, held together by what she was pretty sure was just caffeine, adrenaline, and sheer stubborn determination not to collapse, but she’d never seen him look calm before. Normally Megamind seemed practically to vibrate with a restless inner energy; even when he was at his most still and poised, there was always a kind of suppressed tension and intensity to him.

Roxanne glanced at him again, unable to help herself.

God, he looked absolutely languid, now. It was—

“Was that all right?” he murmured, looking up at her. “Did you enjoy that?”

Did she—?

Roxanne’s face went hot with embarrassment, certain he had to be mocking her. The question of her enjoying it was—she remembered, with a little twist of humiliation, the way she’d whimpered and moaned and begged him like a desperate little slut; god, she must have sounded ridiculous, must have looked ridiculous.

Had she enjoyed it. He’d seen her enjoying it, heard her enjoying it, couldn’t have failed to notice she was enjoying it only too fucking much.

“I came twice,” Roxanne said stiffly. “You watched me.”

Megamind sat up slowly.

“But that’s mostly a question of blood flow and friction for humans, isn’t it?” he said, stretching his neck and shoulders in a way that made Roxanne glance away, flushing even deeper, feeling even angrier with herself. “Not necessarily actual enjoyment. That’s what I’ve always read any—”

“Of course I fucking enjoyed it,” Roxanne snapped, glaring at him. “Stop laughing at me.”

Megamind looked taken aback, a slight frown forming between his eyebrows.

“Laughing at you?” he said.

“Why would you even ask me,” she said, still glaring. “You saw how much I enjoyed it; you know how much I enjoyed it—”

“—well, I mean, it’s not as if I’ve got a basis for comparison, here!” Megamind said defensively. “I apologize if my lack of firsthand knowledge concerning the etiquette of post-coital conversation offends you; everything I’ve read indicated that was an acceptable question, and I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t done something wrong!”

He jerked the sides of his shirt together, and started to fasten the few buttons that still remained.

“Clearly I have, though,” he said. “Whatever it was, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Roxanne said, clenching her hands in fists around the material of her skirt.

Megamind looked up at her.

“You’re angry with me,” he said. “Obviously I did something wrong. And I’m sorry.”

(god, why did he have to sound so fucking sincere)

“I’m not angry with you,” Roxanne said, digging her fingernails into the silk of her dress, furiously suppressing the tears that wanted to rise. “I’m not angry with you; stop apologizing; I’m not angry with you; I’m angry with myself for being so fucking stupid over you—”

Roxanne cut herself off just a moment too late. Megamind went very still.

“—ah,” he said, voice very calm. “Of course. Well.”

He stood up from the desk, turning away from her, tucking his shirt in and fastening his trousers and belt again.

“Your regret is of course entirely justified,” he said, still in that calm voice, all of the tension back in his shoulders, in the quick sharp movements of his hands. “I fully understand. It was a mistake. I apologize for allowing myself to be carried away, Miss Ritchi. It won’t happen again.”

“No, of course not,” Roxanne said bitterly, zipping up her dress. “Why would it?”

Megamind went still again, but only for a moment. Then he inclined his head and bent to pick up his jacket from the floor.

“Just as you say,” he said, without turning to face her. “Why would it.”

Roxanne slid off the desk and reached for her shoes.

“Yes, I’m sure once was more than enough for you,” she said, hating herself for the way her voice wavered. She jammed her shoes on her feet, blindly fastening the straps, fingers fumbling as tears blurred her eyes. “Knowing you can make cold, frigid Miss Ritchi into a shivering, pathetic mess. It’s never about really wanting the ice queen, it’s about wanting to know that you can make her melt—”

“What?”

Roxanne straightened up to find him staring at her, a shocked look on his face. She scrubbed viciously at her eyes; she was not going to fucking cry in front of him; she wasn’t; she was going to keep that last tiny bit of her dignity.

“Wh—I was wrong,” Megamind said rapidly, staring at her with wide eyes. “I was wrong; I don’t understand; I don’t understand at all.”

“What?” Roxanne snarled. “What don’t you understand?”

“Everything,” Megamind said, shaking his head wildly, still staring. “Everything; I don’t understand what—you said that you regretted it, I assured you I understood you didn’t wish it to happen again; how did that turn into you accusing me of—of—of not wanting you now?”

“I never said I regretted it,” Roxanne said. “Do not try to use that as a fucking excuse to—”

“Wh—yes!” Megamind said, with a sharp gesture. “Yes, you did!”

“No, I didn’t!”

“You said you were angry with yourself for being so stupid over me!” Megamind said. “What the fuck else could you possibly mean—”

“You don’t even like me!” Roxanne lost the battle with herself, tears spilling over. “So stupid—that I—I—when you don’t—when—you don’t even like me—”

Megamind stared at Roxanne in shock as she scrubbed her hands over her face, roughly wiping away her tears.

She—

His thoughts clicked and shifted, ideas sliding rapidly into place like the tumblers of a lock manipulated by a deft hand until they all lined up and the handle gave and the door swung open to reveal a conclusion that was—

(angry at myself for being so fucking stupid over you)

—impossible, that conclusion was absolutely impossible, but if it was true, then it would be the third impossible thing of the night, because Roxanne had never dated Metro Man and she’d just had sex with Megamind on a desk, and so maybe it really wasn’t so entirely impossible that—

“Roxanne—are—are you in love with me?”

Roxanne’s breath hissed through her teeth, and Megamind’s eyes went wide.

oh

oh holy fuck

“I—” he started.

“Don’t,” Roxanne snarled. “Don’t say anything; don’t say anything; don’t you fucking dare—”

“Roxanne—”

“Don’t—”

Roxanne turned towards the door, made as if to leave, and Megamind moved on sheer instinct, dropping his jacket and grabbing her wrist, spinning her around, and pushing her back against the desk, stepping forward to hold her in place with his body, pinning her hand to the top of the desk.

“Roxanne—”

Roxanne growled at him and twisted violently, but he didn’t let go.

“—Roxanne—”

She tried to slap him but he caught her other wrist and pinned it to the desk as well. Roxanne bared her teeth and twisted again—

“—Roxanne, would you please stop trying to kill me long enough for me to tell you that I love you too?”

Roxanne went perfectly still in his arms. She looked at him, her expression suddenly uncertain and vulnerable.

(god—she did love him; she really did—)

Megamind gave a soft, breathless laugh of wonder.

He realized his mistake immediately; pain flashed in Roxanne’s eyes for a moment before her expression twisted, covering the hurt with fury.

“Fuck you,” she snarled.

“—I’m sorry; I’m sorry—” Megamind said quickly, but Roxanne was already struggling in his arms again, clearly not listening.

“—go to hell! Fucking—let me go—”

“—I didn’t mean—”

“Such a goddamn joke to you—”

“—it’s not! It’s not; I wasn’t—would you just—”

“Fuck off!”

“—just listen! I—”

“You laughed at me!” Roxanne said, voice trembling on the edge between tears and fury. “And I get it; it’s funny; big joke, but I don’t have to stay here and listen to—”

In desperation, Megamind kissed her.

Roxanne bit him.

“Fuck!” he said, letting go of her and stumbling back in shock and pain, hand going to his lower lip.

Roxanne grabbed her purse and darted for the door, but he was faster. Megamind grabbed her arm, pulling her back, pinning her against the desk again.

“I am sorry,” he said forcefully. “I am sorry that I laughed, Roxanne; I was laughing at myself; I wasn’t laughing at you, but it was still a stupid, thoughtless, cruel thing to do, and I am so, so sorry, and I can imagine how terrible it made you feel, because I was always so afraid you’d laugh at me if you found out that I was in love with you.”

“That’s not fucking funny.”

“I was terrified of you finding out,” Megamind said. “I always felt like such a joke. The supervillain in love with his damsel in distress. Such a ridiculous, pathetic cliche. I was so sure you’d laugh if you ever realized how I felt about you; I never imagined you could possibly feel the same way—if I try to kiss you now, Roxanne, are you going to bite me again?”

“Yes,” Roxanne snarled, and Megamind laughed breathlessly.

“God, I adore you,” he said.

“No, you don’t,” she said, twisting uselessly in his grip. “Stop it. You don’t even like me.”

“Where on earth,” Megamind said, “did you get the idea that I don’t like you? I mean, I would guess it was the deathtraps, but we’ve already established that you know I’m never going to hurt you, so that can’t be it. Why do you think I kidnap you all the time?”

Roxanne went still, suddenly uncertain.

“—that’s about Metro Man,” she said.

Megamind laughed.

“Metro Man,” he scoffed. He leaned forward and put his lips to her ear. “Metro Man is a convenient excuse.”

Roxanne shivered, swallowing convulsively.

“You—you said you were going to stop,” she said, “since you knew we’d never been dating. You said you weren’t going to anymore.”

“I would have thought of another excuse,” Megamind murmured. He nuzzled beneath her ear and she shivered. “Hmm—how about this—Roxanne Ritchi is a terribly nosy reporter, always snooping and interfering. Obviously the only thing to do as a supervillain is kidnap and threaten her. How’s that? Plausible enough?”

Roxanne made a soft, involuntary noise and closed her eyes. Megamind took one hand from her wrist and drew his fingertips slowly up her arm to her shoulder.

“You s-said I was boring,” she said, clutching the edge of the desk, unable to make herself push him away, even now that he was no longer pinning her wrist.

Megamind leaned back and frowned.

“I never said that.”

“You did,” Roxanne said. “You said you’d stop kidnapping me and I could go back to my boring life—”

“—I didn’t—”

“You did—

“I didn’t mean—” Megamind shook his head. “I meant—I—wouldn’t your life be a little more boring without me?” he asked, his voice wistful.

“Of course it would,” Roxanne said. “Of course it would, Megamind; that’s what I’m trying to—you are the only exciting thing about me. I’m—I’m not—oh, you know what I mean!”

“I really don’t,” Megamind said.

“Right,” Roxanne said sarcastically. “You must have somehow failed to notice that I’ve worn this same damn dress three different times, that I always—”

“No you haven’t.”

Roxanne’s growled at him.

“New years, the charity hospital opening—” she said.

Had he not been paying attention to her enough to even notice—

“Your new year’s dress was black,” Megamind said, “and your charity hospital opening dress was silver. They were cut the same as this one, yes, but they certainly weren’t the same dress. And even if they were—” He shook his head, smiling bemusedly, “—even if they were, they’re just dresses, Roxanne. They don’t matter. Not the way that you matter.”

“The dresses,” Roxanne said, gritting her teeth, “are indicative of the larger problem of me being boring—”

“You,” Megamind said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, “are the most exciting thing in my life, Roxanne.”

Roxanne took a sharp breath.

“Being around you,” Megamind said “getting to spend time with you, is the most exciting thing.”

“I don’t mean—” Roxanne said, “—all right, yes—you’re apparently attracted to me; okay; but that doesn’t mean you actually like—I’m not talking about the—the attraction thing!”

“Neither am I!” Megamind said, sounding as frustrated as she felt. “The liking you thing and the attraction thing are—I wouldn’t be attracted to you if I didn’t like you, Roxanne!”

“You said yourself that I drive you crazy!”

“You do!” Megamind said. “That’s what I mean! You’re so—so—challenging.”

Roxanne flinched. Challenging; god, she’d heard that before, heard it over and over again—

“It’s fantastic,” Megamind said.

Roxanne’s breath caught.

She looked at his face. He looked—

He looked as if he actually meant it, as if the essential difficulty of being around Roxanne was something that someone could actually enjoy.

“I complain,” she said, in a small voice. “I complain all the time.”

“Not all the time,” Megamind said. “Only when there’s something to complain about. Besides, it’s less complaining and more—pointing out hard truths. Sharply. Uncompromisingly. It’s very sexy.”

“Wh—that cannot possibly be something you find attractive about me!” Roxanne said, outraged.

“Well, it is.”

“It is not!” Roxanne said sharply.

Megamind grinned at her.

“But it is,” he said.

“No, it’s—”

“Is.”

“No—”

“It is.”

“It’s no—”

“Is.”

“Stop saying that!”

Megamind laughed.

“You called me a harpy!”

“Oh, you are!” Megamind said, eyes dancing. “You so very much are! My beautiful, furious, indomitable Miss Ritchi! Definitely a harpy—sharp claws, absolutely terrifying, personification of a storm. Incidentally, Roxanne, I happen to be wildly and passionately in love with you; are you still going to bite me if I try to kiss you now?”

“Yes,” Roxanne snarled.

Megamind laughed and leaned in to kiss her anyway.

She did bite him, sinking her teeth briefly into his bottom lip—not hard this time, but it probably still hurt, considering how hard she’d bitten him before.

Megamind smiled into the kiss and made a noise of delight, as if she’d just done something particularly charming, and then he cupped her face gently in his hands, and Roxanne was—lost, just lost, unable to do anything but press herself close to him and kiss him back.

Megamind broke the kiss slowly.

“Would you like to go out with me sometime?” he murmured, lips brushing hers.

Roxanne gave a snort of laughter at the absurd normality of the question.

“Yes,” she said. “Fuck.”

Megamind made a delighted sound, stepping back to look at her.

“Really?” he said. “You would? You would?”

Roxanne flushed—god, he looked so—

(wildly and passionately in love with you)

—he meant that, Roxanne realized with a jolt. He meant—

(god I adore you the most exciting thing in my life wildly and passionately in love with you)

—all of that.

He really meant it.

“—yeah,” she said, “yeah, I would.”

Megamind’s face lit up as if this was the best thing he’d ever heard and he laughed, the sound brighter and happier than she’d ever heard from him before.

“Ohhh my god, I can’t believe this is actually happening,” he said. “I can’t believe I actually asked you; oh my god I can’t believe you said yes—can we go somewhere now? Right now?”

Roxanne gave a choked laugh, feeling a warm glow spreading out from her chest through her whole body.

He really was in love with her.

“Yeah,” she said, “now is—now is good. Where do you want to go?”

“Oh, I don’t care where we go,” Megamind said, picking up his fallen tie. “I just want to go there with you.”

Roxanne caught her breath, but Megamind just continued to knot his tie, smiling happily, as if he didn’t even expect her to be swept off her feet by that comment.

“What would you like to do?” he asked.

Roxanne swallowed and tried to get her fluttering heart under control. She glanced away from Megamind and her eyes fell on her underwear, still lying on the floor.

“—well, for starters, I’d like to check this room really thoroughly for any more surveillance equipment,” she said.

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…to be continued .💋

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notes: Megamind is referencing the mythological descriptions of harpies: winged women with claws who were the personifications of storm winds, and who tormented evildoers. (some ancient authors refer to the harpies as ugly, but others refer to them as beautiful. one specifically mentions that they have beautiful hair.)

This is Day 23 of my Birthday Fic Month! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. Thank you for the nice reviews; they make me so happy!