Tag: LOL

em8ambitions:

thoodleoo:

>be aristotle
>be trained by plato, one of the most famous philosophers to ever live
>be pretty much one of the smartest guys in all of athens
>don’t get chosen to take over plato’s school because his shitty nephew gets it instead
>bullshit.redfigurevase
>instead get asked to teach some macedonian king’s kid named alexander who has a weird thing for horses
>teach him to be a scholar and give him tips on how to be a good king
>pretty sure he likes his horse more than me but whatever
>return to athens once he grows up
>make sure to write letters to him so that he keeps my teachings in mind
>decide to turn my focus to writing books in the meantime
>life is pretty good except this asshole named diogenes who lives in a barrel won’t stop heckling me every day when i head to the acropolis
>call him a dog one time and now he won’t stop barking at me
>pretty sure i saw him jerking it in the market once
>wtf
>don’t worry about him too much though because i have bigger and better things to do
>meanwhile alexander doesn’t seem to be paying attention to my letters anymore
>hear that alexander is planning on visiting corinth
>decide that i need to talk to him in person
>get to corinth and find alexander standing near a barrel
>diogenes is there
>how the fuck did he get another barrel in a completely different city
>turns out diogenes got captured by pirates and lives in corinth now because of course he fucking does
>diogenes tells my student, the king of macedon, to get out of his sunlight
>alexander says that he wishes he were as cool as diogenes
>doesn’t even seem to notice i’m there
>just got ignored by my shitty student for a guy who bathes once a year and pisses in public
>also find out that he named an entire city after his horse so i was right about him liking his horse more than me
>notevensurprisedaboutthat.redfigurevase
>end up having to leave athens years later when alexander is dead because of my association with him
>mfw

@setepenre-set, @heymacareyna