Of all the recent memes, I think my favourite is adding, “Guillermo del Toro, we know it’s you,” to any monster-positive/monster-fucking/monster-cuddling posts.
It’s just very sweet, and gives me the mental image of BAFTA-winning director Guillermo del Toro being That One Person in a fandom who has a super-specific fetish and keeps slyly suggesting it in different scenarios, but what he comes up with is so creative that he ends up pulling half the fandom into his luxurious and well-appointed dumpster with him. 🙂
If you’re going to space. You have to be prepared to fuck the aliens. Or like at least one person on your crew does I get that it’s not everyone’s thing. I’m just saying. Someone’s gotta do it.
The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.
“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.
The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”
“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.
“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”
“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”
“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”
“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”
The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”
This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.
This is the first funny thing I’ve ever seen on Facebook in my entire life
Can totally see post-movie Megamind coming up with something like this when the Metro City Zoo staff asks him to make his alligators available for captive breeding.
I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.
the window
what? you going to critique my dreams? my subconscious creations, that I did by accident, while asleep? the chemicals in my brain? are you going to use your foul eyes and dissect all of the plotholes in my dreams? you going to critique the weather? harass the clouds? make fun of thunder for being off key? remind me to come to your house and shred your shoes
i would have made it a better quality but my pressure sensitivity dropped on me four (4) times, sai closed on me three (3) times, i had to remake the first panel three (3) times and i’ve had to restart my computer five (5) times
god was trying to tell me to stop and i didn’t listen
setepenre-set 