Tag: nonbinary

stilesisbiles:

Y’all the white stripe on the trans flag literally is for nonbinary folk, so maybe stop yelling at nonbinary folk that we’re using the ‘wrong’ flag for ourselves. 

Also the trans flag was inspired by the bi flag, so miss me with your ‘bisexuality is transphobic’ bullshit. Here’s more of a history on why that shit is ahistorical.

yardsards:

One thing that a lot of transmasc people struggle with before they fully realize they’re trans is the question of “do I hate being treated like a woman because women are treated like shit, or do I hate being treated like a woman because I’m not a woman?”

and one method (though not entirely foolproof) to figuring that out is asking “would I be upset if another girl was treated like this?”

like, I’d be just as mad if some dude said “you can’t do math because you’re a girl” to a female classmate as I would if he said it to me

however, I never got uncomfortable at waiters calling my female friends “m’am”, I was only uncomfortable when they called *me* that

and obviously everyone’s feelings are different and there’s tons of variables at play, but if you find that there’s a lot of the second scenario going on with you, there’s a good chance you’re not entirely cis

I come from a culture where gender and sexuality are concepts cut in stone. Knowing that there is an entire spectrum out there, with a shade that can possibly represent my confused and “odd” identity, is…exhilarating. Cant thank u enough for giving me some of ur time and answering my question the way u did.

You are very, very welcome. I’m so glad I could help you.

And I know what you mean about it being exhilarating–I still remember the first time I saw the word “genderqueer”, with its definition; it felt like being struck by lightning, the idea that what I was feeling was real, that the feeling existed, that I was allowed to feel that way. 

The same goes for finding out about the asexual and aromantic spectrums–learning that I wasn’t crazy, or broken, or put together wrong, which is what I had thought before.

You might feel like you’re confused and odd, but I promise, it’s not just you who feels this way. You’re not alone.

The queer umbrella is very large. There’s room enough beneath it for you.

Is nonbinary the same as asexual?

No; both identities are parts of the queer community, but nonbinary is a gender identity, while asexual is a sexual identity.

Gender identities have to do with you, and how you, yourself, experience your gender, while sexual identities have to do with how you experience sexual attraction in relation to other people.

Nonbinary people experience their gender in a way that does not fit the traditional gender binary of ‘woman or man’.

Nonbinary is an umbrella term for all kinds of gender identities, like:

genderqueer (a mix of genders), 

agender (having no gender), 

genderfluid (having your gender move around between different things). 

demigirl (sort of a girl, sort of something else) 

demiboy (sort of a boy, sort of something else). 

There are lots of other nonbinary gender identities! You can choose to use one of the more specific ones, or you can just identify as ‘nonbinary’. 

I identify as ‘nonbinary’.

Asexual people do not experience sexual attraction to other people. Asexual is also an umbrella term for various subgroups of asexual sexual identities (this is referred to as the Ace Spectrum). Some asexual identities include:

demisexual (only experiencing sexual attraction after forming a close emotional bond), 

gray asexual (experiencing sexual attraction only very rarely, uncertain if you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction)

lithrosexual (experiencing sexual attraction to other people, but not wanting it reciprocated)

autochorissexual (a disconnect between the person you desire and yourself. experiencing sexual arousal in relation to sexual material or hypothetical sexual situations, but without any desire to participate, sexual fantasies are often in third person, and/or do not include yourself and are mostly not about people you know)

When people identify as asexual, they may mean that they fall into one of these subgroup identities of the Ace Spectrum, or they may mean that they fit the narrower definition of asexuality–not experiencing sexual attraction at all.

I identify as asexual, and usually refer to myself as demisexual, although I’m not completely certain where I fall on the ace spectrum. 

My personal experience with being nonbinary has been something like “I feel so weird; I can’t tell if I’m a boy or a girl. Everyone else seems to just know what they are, but I feel so uncertain, and guilty because I don’t know–WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S A WORD FOR THAT? OH MY GOD I’M SO RELIEVED.”

My personal experience with being asexual has been something like “I don’t seem to get crushes the way people my age do; am I just immature? Am I broken? That person is pretty, and looking at them is nice, but I don’t want to do anything with them. Is this sexual attraction? Surely it’s got to be stronger than that. Maybe I want this person? I really like them a lot as a friend; they’re really pretty; I want to spend time with them. Do I want to date them? Do I want them to kiss me? Maybe? Maybe more than kiss? Maybe I could–aaaand they’re not actually a good friend; that feeling’s gone. They’re still just as pretty to look at, but it does nothing for me now. God damn it, what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel the way I’m supposed–OH MY GOD ‘ASEXUAL’ COVERS EXPERIENCES LIKE THIS? I’M SO RELIEVED HOLY SHIT.”

Now, in addition to gender identities (like nonbinary) and sexual identities (like asexual), there are also romantic identities. 

Romantic identities have to do with how you experience romantic attraction in relation to other people. Romantic attraction differs from sexual attraction; romantic attraction is wanting to date someone, as opposed to wanting to have sex with someone.

Aromantic or Aro people experience little or no romantic attraction to other people. Aromantic people are also a part of the queer community. There are several types of romantic identities that fall under the umbrella of the Aromantic spectrum. Like:

gray romantic (experiences romantic attraction very rarely, or uncertain if they’ve ever experienced romantic attraction)

demiromantic (experiences romantic attraction only after a deep emotional connection has already been established)

I am also on the aromantic spectrum!

My personal experience with being aromantic has been something like, “I don’t seem to get crushes; I don’t want to date people. What’s wrong with me? Everyone else wants to date people. I could maybe want to date someone if I really knew them as a friend. What do you mean, you’re supposed to go out on dates with people you don’t really know to decide if you like them romantically or not? That sounds awful! Is there something wrong with me–AH-HA! AROMANTIC! THERE’S A WORD! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.”

This is the nonbinary pride flag:

This is the asexual pride flag:

This is the aromantic pride flag:

I hope this information has been helpful!