Tag: puns

displacerghost:

little-niggah-sugar:

hi-def-doritos:

amityravenclawelf:

dragonpuppies:

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!

Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?

Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.

Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.

Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.

@setepenre-set

em8ambitions:

imperilysm:

mondrag-on:

mamapluto:

copperbadge:

arishok-s:

celticpyro:

bransrath:

pain-and-missouri:

tilthat:

TIL Marine biologists are claiming there is a rare instance of non-human warfare happening between octopuses in the waters off the coast of Australia. The octopuses are fighting in large groups over territory and even using projectiles such as seashells to spit at enemies.

via reddit.com

Octopi are intense

I prefer octopedes

“Animals don’t go to war because they’re cinnamon rolls unlike ebil humans uwu” Check-fucking-mate Linda, cephalopods are having trench warfare in the ocean.

They’re literally in the shell age

So…they’re shelling each other? 

*takes a long drag on a shitty cigarette* war is shell

Why isn’t anyone even bothering to mention the countless wounded soldiers of this cephalopod war? Many come back missing tentacles and eyes! Some even return home with a bad case of…shellshock

@setepenre-set

caffeinewitchcraft:

copperbadge:

strangeselkie:

copperbadge:

kiralamouse:

gooseweasel:

If anyone tries to tell you that Shakespeare is stuffy or boring or highbrow, just remember that the word “nothing” was used in Elizabethan era slang as a euphemism for “vagina”. 

Shakespeare has a play called “Much Ado About Nothing”, which you could basically read in modern slang as “Freaking Out Over Pussy”. And that’s pretty much exactly what happens in the play. 

It’s also a pun with a third meaning. There’s the sex sense of much ado about “nothing”, there’s the obvious sense that people today see, and then there’s the fact that in Shakespeare’s day, “nothing” was pronounced pretty much the same as “noting”, which was a term used for gossip. So, “Flamewar Over Rumors” works as a title interpretation, too.

The reason we call Shakespeare a genius is that he can make a pussy joke in the same exact words he uses to make biting social commentary about letting unverified gossip take over the discourse.

So like.

A truly accurate modern translation would be “I Cunt Believe He Said That”?

@copperbadge YOU GO AND SIT AMONG THE MUSTARDS  AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE

I truly feel the ghost of Shakespeare has never been more proud of me. 

I feel Shakespeare’s approval in this chili’s tonight