I’m rlly frustrated bc I’m watching return of the Jedi and I just saw the scene where they’re talking about the sarlacc and I can’t stop thinking abt this one Tumblr post that’s something about how it wouldn’t be for that long bc he’d starve to death and Luke is like “tell him that r2. Tell him that he’s a dumbass r2. Tell him” and I’ve been googling for a billion years but I can’t find it and I rlly wanna find this post so if any of u have it plsssssss add the link and I’d die for u
Arthur ‘Artoo’ De’too is a rather smol and angry mechanic, always vowing vengeance against the evil Ford corp for their shitty engines. (Why Ford? Who knows?) His utility belt has a tazer and a pocket flamethrower and is the stuff of legends and nightmares. Stress welds.
Charles ‘Three’ Peoria, professor of linquistics at Prestigious University, tightlaced (literally on some days) academian ivory tower type. Drives a terrible champagne colored ancient monstrosity that offends every single one of Artoos sensibilities.
They meet over the fact that Artoo is fluent in profanity from twelve languages and Three can’t swear to save his life but he’s got a fourth doctoral thesis on the line and also his car broke down help.
oh no, this goes right with my bb-8 is a rescue droid headcanon
the one where poe comes back after a mission to some junkyard world in the outer rim with a battered and malfunctioning bb-8 in tow and everyone tries to tell him it’s useless to try and get a bb unit in working order because they’ve been out of production for years, see you can’t even find some replacement parts anymore, it took you 4 days just to dig up a maintenance manual
the one where poe reads about the bb line’s ‘adaptive personality’ function and makes a conscious effort to: spend some time talking to bb-8 everyday; speak softly around bb-8 even when he’s angry or upset; honest to god actually play hide and seek with his droid or having a long game of ‘find the thing’ across the entire base on their days off; never delete a file or tweak a protocol without bb-8′s consent, even when it’s a minor or routine maintenance thing
the one where their first genuine bonding moment after bb-8′s rescue is poe getting around to that promise of giving bb-8 a new pain job and asking bb-8 to choose some colors and it’s never outright said but the reason bb-8 picks white is that it’s pretty and not dirty like all the junk in the old scrapyard, and the reason bb-8 picks orange accents is because it matches poe’s flight suit and once the new coat is done bb-8 twirls around and chirps happily and poe’s big dumb all-loving heart hurts a little
see i know that we all like to make fun of luke skywalker, hick farmer from the back of nowhere, thinking that shooting womp rats with the space equivalent of his dad’s old rifle is somehow sufficient preparation for taking down the death star; but i love the idea that actually womp rats are six foot abominations of teeth, spines & poison and bulls-eyeing them is actually excellent preparation for the rebellion. think about it: swarms of six foot rats, and some skinny kid with an outdated weapon taking them out, cool as paint. hardened soldiers whisper scary stories to each other, about the monsters who scavenge in the sands, stripping a camp of everything living in five seconds flat, and luke just saying oh, womp rats? they’re nothing. great with a bit of butter and some toast.
REMEMBER THAT HE TOLD WEDGE, “THEY’RE NOTMUCH BIGGER THAN TWO METERS” LIKE THAT’S SOME MINOR INCONVENIENCE
BIGGER THAN TWO METERS
Wedge: So, you’ve been to Tatooine
Han: Yeah
Wedge: Womp rats?
Han: Sure. Chewie uses ‘em for bowcaster practice. Kinda gamey tasting. Sandy colored fur, lotsa teeth, little over two meters…
Wedge: Luke wasn’t lying???
Luke (head inside X-wing panel, tinkering): Why would I make THAT up?
Honestly, I’ve always thought that farm work on Tatooine, unintentionally, must have provided a fairly excellent groundwork in establishing Luke’s baby Jedi skills outside of an academy context.
There are of course the aforementioned womp rats, which are both terrifying and a fantastic way to develop shooting skills.
There’s beggar’s canyon for piloting. And if Phantom Menace brought us nothing else, it actually showed us the living death trap that is beggar’s canyon. He’s not like zipping around the Grand Canyon, he’s literally goofing off in a place that killed off a shit ton of professional pod racers. So needless to say, Luke’s had a chance to develop scary good reflexes, information processing, and spacial relation skills.
The Lars’s economic status means that they had to make do with ancient, crap equipment. Luke would have learned how to make incredibly fine tuned repairs, and keep shit going forever. And sure, he never built a C3PO or a pod racer, but honestly, if he found the materials to do it, he probably would have used them in a moisture collector.
And there’s even combat experience. From what we know about Tatooine, a farm like the Lars Homestead, would have been at risk for attacks by raiders, Jabba’s goons, and any of the terrifying hellbeasts that populate that planet. It’s not like Jedi temple training or anything. But Luke definitely learned to be cool under pressure, even when outnumbered or with really old, shit equipment.
I would just like to note that in The Old Republic MMORPG (set three thousand years before the movies) the womp rats are not only two meters long, covered in spines, with teeth as long as my hand, and sometimes DISEASED
BUT THEY ALSO ATTACK IN PACKS
You think you just pissed off ONE rodent as long as you are tall? Oh no. It’s calling ALL SIXTEEN OF ITS FRIENDS
AND THEY ARE ALL AIMING TO BITE YOUR CROTCH OFF.
*THAT’S* what Luke grew up sniping to keep them away from the droids and moisture vaporators. *THAT* (and Beggar’s Canyon) is what prepared him to take down the Death Star.
Womp rats are bad news.
My favorite thing is that they are just one example of how Luke doesn’t know he’s from a Death Planet until he leaves it.
i’m just going to reblog this so you can all enjoy the excellent commentary about my space son who is equal parts sunshine and tempered death
setepenre-set 